The Understanding Person's Dilema

Lately, life has been difficult.

Everyday, I am hit with the overwhelming feeling like I do way too much for those around me. Don't misunderstand my message with this post, I love to help as best I can. I am the type of person who wants to give and give and give but the problem is, sometimes, I expect too much in return.

Recognition is what I want. Maybe a favor sent my direction. And I get that! A lot! My family and boyfriend are amazing to me and help me with a lot of what I need. I think I expect too much though.

I've found myself let down a lot lately because I am not always getting the recognition that I think I deserve but probably what is really going on, is that I should only be doing what I'm getting recognized for. Hence, anything that I am not getting props for, I shouldn't be doing.

My serious problem though, is that I can't stop! Perhaps recognition is a circle that never ends. I do a good deed and expect recognition but the real problem is that I am not recognizing the recognition I am receiving. It all sounds highly complicated and unnecessary. Life should not be this hard. This post probably seems kind of frazzled but that is how my mind is working right now. I'm doing for others, expecting too much, not saying anything when I don't receive it, and still getting upset about it. That's not fair either. Life is a two way street, and I'm doing my very best to learn to walk it. 

Weight sucks..

I hate my weight.

I have been trying so hard to get the motivation  the work out lately

but it is simply NOT WORKING.

I plan out my meals and my time to spend at the gym but I cannot seem to get myself there. 

I wish there was an easier way to help myself feel more confident about myself.

I wish I could be one of those people who hardly has to do anything.

I wish I could just feel good about the weight I am right now. 

But I'm not.
There's no two ways about it. 

I have to put in the time and effort in order to achieve my goals. 

I have to give it my all and work really hard to feel the confidence I desire. 

It won't be easy but I just have to do it!
Even though I have a boyfriend who loves me exactly how I look, I want to be 

healthy.

My brother is getting married in October and I will without a doubt be in quite a few pictures and I want to look back at those pictures and not hate what I see. 

It is time to stop dilly-dallying and just get down to it! 

Anyone with any suggestions on how to get myself motivated, 

HELP! 

Weddings are in the air!!

I was blessed today to be able to spend some time with my future sister-in-law to be.

Me and a group of friends and family drove to the Davids Bridal in Horseheads to 

begin the search for Rhonda Hinrichsens wedding dress!!

Sometimes this is a very long a tedious task to handle.

After many months of trying on dress after dress finally most women come to a final decision about which dress is the one to say "I do" in. 

People had told Rhonda that she would not end up with the dress that she went in there saying she wanted but she did. 

When we first got there, Rhonda showed the woman helping us a picture of the dress she wanted. 

After looking at the picture for a moment, the woman said she wasn't sure that they even had that dress in stock anymore but that she would try to find something similar for her.

About 3 dresses went on and then quickly came off because Rhonda knew they weren't for her.

When Erin went to look for more dresses, she suddenly peaked her head around the corner and told Rhonda that she had found it. 

The dress she had been looking for. 

IN. HER. SIZE.

In the entire store there was one dress and it was the perfect size for Rhonda. 

It was fate.
Rhonda put the dress on and came out of the dressing room with a look on her face that told us immediately that this was it. 

This was the dress that she wanted to be wearing when she committed herself to my brother. 

It all makes me think, 

is fate real?

 

Do you think that there really is someone out there with your best interest in mind and when it comes time that you really deserve it, they make it happen? 

I can't wait for the day that I finally get to pick out my special dress.

It took everything I had not to try something on. 

[I did however look through the book and I know what I want! :)]

Nate and Rhonda's special day is only 6 months away. 

Some might say that they are rushing things because they got engaged and will be married within 7 months but you know what?

When it's right, you know it, and they do. 

I wish Nate and Rhonda all the luck in the entire world.
They are so ready to make their commitment 

out and open with themselves, their friends and god. 

I cannot wait for October 6th, 2012 because that is the day I will truly be gaining a sister.

{then you better get workin' on a niece or nephew for me!}

FACEBOOK=DEVIL

    So lately, I've been seriously considering deleting my facebook. It just brings drama! I don't want to be involved in stupid drama. I don't care how your trip to walmart went and I'm sure you really don't care how bad I wanted some drinks tonight after work. It's just a bother. Maybe if I got rid of my facebook I could focus more on blogging.. {TOTALLY OFF TOPIC: but just to make a written record of it, Mike just walked to the kitchen and took his dirty dishes with him!!! Just gotta give credit where credit's due!} Anyway... 

  Sometimes I really feel like there is nothing good that comes of facebook. 

Whenever I get on there, I either come up with absolutely nothing or I hear about drama that I have nothing to do with and don't care to have anything to do with!

I get far more inspiration from Pinterest than I do facebook!

{maybe that's sad but it is what it is}

Does anyone else feel the same way I do? 

All I need in life is Michael and our home. 

I don't need the stupid drama and talk that goes on within Facebooks narrow walls. 

The only pros that really come from facebook is that I do get to keep in close contact with my family that lives in Florida. I used to be able to keep in contact with my bestest friend and cousin Aubrey Kinch but since she decided that Facebook was no good either, she no longer has one. 

Sometimes I think she is really wise for deciding to stay away from the social networking

that facebook offers. 

The friends and family that we want to talk to are never more than a phone call or a text message 

away.

If you don't talk to people after facebook is gone, then they probably weren't

that close to you in the first place. 

Love isn't about how many people like your status.

And comparing yourself to people is never a good idea. 

You need to learn to be a whole person first and foremost before you think about 

how other people live their lives. 

Sure, it is always helpful to get tips from people and Social networking is where the world is today. 

So, because of that.. this may not be goodbye but perhaps, a see ya later.. 

Because I may return eventually.

But as for right now, I have faaarrr more important things to think about than facebook. 

Thanks readers, because I think I've finally made up my mind. 

I'm going to sleep on it and make a decision in the morning since it's 3:30 am {and I did happen to just start my lovely monthly gift making me a tad bit more sensitive :)} 

But I believe that the right decision for me is to get rid of the facebook and live life!

Fully and completely live life. 

Not through a computer screen but out in the real world! 

[who knew someone could make such a big deal over FACEBOOK!] 

[a computer program should never take this much thought...]

-Emily <3

Holy Busy!

So, it has been FOREVER since I have been on this thing! I can't believe it really but I totally forgot about it! 

I began working for Visions Federal Credit Union in the beginning of February and haven't had a whole lot of time to blog. 

However, I am now settled into my new position and ready to bring my life out in the open again. 

So get ready! 

Ready for blogging?! Set! GO!!!!

Busy..Busy..Busy!!

So, I haven't posted in a couple of days! Sorry about that!

My life was so hectic this weekend.

Friday I got a call from the Human Resources Director of Visions Federal Credit Union and they offered me a position as a Teller at their bank!

Although I don't know what branch I will be at yet, I truly think that this is a

blessing in disguise.

In November, Mike moved in with me and my parents and as

time goes on, it is becoming incredibly apparent that there are just too many

adults living in one house.
Even though we are sooo grateful to my parents for letting us do this and helping us create the amazing relationship we now have, things are tight and this change will probably be best for us. 

So guess what time it is!

TIME TO MOVE OUT!!!!

Of course, as usual, money is an issue.

 We have to buy a mattress and some other things before we can have a place to live

and of course this is the time of year that things at the restaurant I work at slow down.

Normally on a weekend, I can make almost $300!

This past weekend, I made $100.

No Good!

Adding this income to our situation is going to be a great thing!

Mike has a great job as a Union Carpenter and can make this work for us

but if we don't have to suffer, why should we?

I want to contribute.

Although, I am so lucky because he just keeps telling me to make sure none of this gets in the way of my schoolwork and that he'll take care of me no matter where we are.

{I'm so lucky}

I now have two jobs and go to school full time but I really feel like I have this under control!

Plus, with the help of certain blogs such as choose to be happy by Alexa,
I know that if I pray and trust that the best thing possible for us will happen,
it will!

Best Friend...

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life.

Michael is my world, my love, and my {best friend} and

he means absolutely everything to me.

Until he came into my life, I thought that I would end up with a man

who walks on me and that my job in life was to make a two person

relationship work all by myself.

Michael has taught me that a real relationship takes 100% commitment and

work from both people in the relationship and that there are some

incredible men out there who want to put in the hard work necessary

in order to make a relationship work.

It's funny because when I was younger and dreaming of the man I someday

would find who would sweep me off my feet, the man in my head

looks an awful lot like Mike.

Dark hair. Dark eyes. Hard working. In boots and Carhartts.

;-)

He complements me. My love of country living. My want for

a house and family {someday in the distant future :-)} 

He's serious and committed but at the same time, I have never

met anyone who can make me laugh so hard and when I

cry, there's no one else who's hug feels so warm.

When he leaves for work in the morning, I am assured

that I am the only woman on his mind. 

Just as he is the one man in this world who fills my head with happy thoughts all day long.

There are some important couples in my life who have taught me some valuable lessons about being in a relationship:

1. My mother and father: Steadfast rocks who were absolutely made for eachother

2. My Aunt Kim and Uncle Eric: Free spirits who have taught me that I can truly do anything

3. My cousin Aubrey Kinch and her husband Andrew Kinch: Although still newlyweds, they have already taught me one of the most important lessons I think I could learn, "always be the first to say "I'm Sorry.""

This is where I want to be in my life.

With my hand in his.

Finally, all feels so so so right.

Mike&I <3