The Understanding Person's Dilema

Lately, life has been difficult.

Everyday, I am hit with the overwhelming feeling like I do way too much for those around me. Don't misunderstand my message with this post, I love to help as best I can. I am the type of person who wants to give and give and give but the problem is, sometimes, I expect too much in return.

Recognition is what I want. Maybe a favor sent my direction. And I get that! A lot! My family and boyfriend are amazing to me and help me with a lot of what I need. I think I expect too much though.

I've found myself let down a lot lately because I am not always getting the recognition that I think I deserve but probably what is really going on, is that I should only be doing what I'm getting recognized for. Hence, anything that I am not getting props for, I shouldn't be doing.

My serious problem though, is that I can't stop! Perhaps recognition is a circle that never ends. I do a good deed and expect recognition but the real problem is that I am not recognizing the recognition I am receiving. It all sounds highly complicated and unnecessary. Life should not be this hard. This post probably seems kind of frazzled but that is how my mind is working right now. I'm doing for others, expecting too much, not saying anything when I don't receive it, and still getting upset about it. That's not fair either. Life is a two way street, and I'm doing my very best to learn to walk it. 

Weight sucks..

I hate my weight.

I have been trying so hard to get the motivation  the work out lately

but it is simply NOT WORKING.

I plan out my meals and my time to spend at the gym but I cannot seem to get myself there. 

I wish there was an easier way to help myself feel more confident about myself.

I wish I could be one of those people who hardly has to do anything.

I wish I could just feel good about the weight I am right now. 

But I'm not.
There's no two ways about it. 

I have to put in the time and effort in order to achieve my goals. 

I have to give it my all and work really hard to feel the confidence I desire. 

It won't be easy but I just have to do it!
Even though I have a boyfriend who loves me exactly how I look, I want to be 

healthy.

My brother is getting married in October and I will without a doubt be in quite a few pictures and I want to look back at those pictures and not hate what I see. 

It is time to stop dilly-dallying and just get down to it! 

Anyone with any suggestions on how to get myself motivated, 

HELP! 

Weddings are in the air!!

I was blessed today to be able to spend some time with my future sister-in-law to be.

Me and a group of friends and family drove to the Davids Bridal in Horseheads to 

begin the search for Rhonda Hinrichsens wedding dress!!

Sometimes this is a very long a tedious task to handle.

After many months of trying on dress after dress finally most women come to a final decision about which dress is the one to say "I do" in. 

People had told Rhonda that she would not end up with the dress that she went in there saying she wanted but she did. 

When we first got there, Rhonda showed the woman helping us a picture of the dress she wanted. 

After looking at the picture for a moment, the woman said she wasn't sure that they even had that dress in stock anymore but that she would try to find something similar for her.

About 3 dresses went on and then quickly came off because Rhonda knew they weren't for her.

When Erin went to look for more dresses, she suddenly peaked her head around the corner and told Rhonda that she had found it. 

The dress she had been looking for. 

IN. HER. SIZE.

In the entire store there was one dress and it was the perfect size for Rhonda. 

It was fate.
Rhonda put the dress on and came out of the dressing room with a look on her face that told us immediately that this was it. 

This was the dress that she wanted to be wearing when she committed herself to my brother. 

It all makes me think, 

is fate real?

 

Do you think that there really is someone out there with your best interest in mind and when it comes time that you really deserve it, they make it happen? 

I can't wait for the day that I finally get to pick out my special dress.

It took everything I had not to try something on. 

[I did however look through the book and I know what I want! :)]

Nate and Rhonda's special day is only 6 months away. 

Some might say that they are rushing things because they got engaged and will be married within 7 months but you know what?

When it's right, you know it, and they do. 

I wish Nate and Rhonda all the luck in the entire world.
They are so ready to make their commitment 

out and open with themselves, their friends and god. 

I cannot wait for October 6th, 2012 because that is the day I will truly be gaining a sister.

{then you better get workin' on a niece or nephew for me!}

FACEBOOK=DEVIL

    So lately, I've been seriously considering deleting my facebook. It just brings drama! I don't want to be involved in stupid drama. I don't care how your trip to walmart went and I'm sure you really don't care how bad I wanted some drinks tonight after work. It's just a bother. Maybe if I got rid of my facebook I could focus more on blogging.. {TOTALLY OFF TOPIC: but just to make a written record of it, Mike just walked to the kitchen and took his dirty dishes with him!!! Just gotta give credit where credit's due!} Anyway... 

  Sometimes I really feel like there is nothing good that comes of facebook. 

Whenever I get on there, I either come up with absolutely nothing or I hear about drama that I have nothing to do with and don't care to have anything to do with!

I get far more inspiration from Pinterest than I do facebook!

{maybe that's sad but it is what it is}

Does anyone else feel the same way I do? 

All I need in life is Michael and our home. 

I don't need the stupid drama and talk that goes on within Facebooks narrow walls. 

The only pros that really come from facebook is that I do get to keep in close contact with my family that lives in Florida. I used to be able to keep in contact with my bestest friend and cousin Aubrey Kinch but since she decided that Facebook was no good either, she no longer has one. 

Sometimes I think she is really wise for deciding to stay away from the social networking

that facebook offers. 

The friends and family that we want to talk to are never more than a phone call or a text message 

away.

If you don't talk to people after facebook is gone, then they probably weren't

that close to you in the first place. 

Love isn't about how many people like your status.

And comparing yourself to people is never a good idea. 

You need to learn to be a whole person first and foremost before you think about 

how other people live their lives. 

Sure, it is always helpful to get tips from people and Social networking is where the world is today. 

So, because of that.. this may not be goodbye but perhaps, a see ya later.. 

Because I may return eventually.

But as for right now, I have faaarrr more important things to think about than facebook. 

Thanks readers, because I think I've finally made up my mind. 

I'm going to sleep on it and make a decision in the morning since it's 3:30 am {and I did happen to just start my lovely monthly gift making me a tad bit more sensitive :)} 

But I believe that the right decision for me is to get rid of the facebook and live life!

Fully and completely live life. 

Not through a computer screen but out in the real world! 

[who knew someone could make such a big deal over FACEBOOK!] 

[a computer program should never take this much thought...]

-Emily <3

Holy Busy!

So, it has been FOREVER since I have been on this thing! I can't believe it really but I totally forgot about it! 

I began working for Visions Federal Credit Union in the beginning of February and haven't had a whole lot of time to blog. 

However, I am now settled into my new position and ready to bring my life out in the open again. 

So get ready! 

Ready for blogging?! Set! GO!!!!

Busy..Busy..Busy!!

So, I haven't posted in a couple of days! Sorry about that!

My life was so hectic this weekend.

Friday I got a call from the Human Resources Director of Visions Federal Credit Union and they offered me a position as a Teller at their bank!

Although I don't know what branch I will be at yet, I truly think that this is a

blessing in disguise.

In November, Mike moved in with me and my parents and as

time goes on, it is becoming incredibly apparent that there are just too many

adults living in one house.
Even though we are sooo grateful to my parents for letting us do this and helping us create the amazing relationship we now have, things are tight and this change will probably be best for us. 

So guess what time it is!

TIME TO MOVE OUT!!!!

Of course, as usual, money is an issue.

 We have to buy a mattress and some other things before we can have a place to live

and of course this is the time of year that things at the restaurant I work at slow down.

Normally on a weekend, I can make almost $300!

This past weekend, I made $100.

No Good!

Adding this income to our situation is going to be a great thing!

Mike has a great job as a Union Carpenter and can make this work for us

but if we don't have to suffer, why should we?

I want to contribute.

Although, I am so lucky because he just keeps telling me to make sure none of this gets in the way of my schoolwork and that he'll take care of me no matter where we are.

{I'm so lucky}

I now have two jobs and go to school full time but I really feel like I have this under control!

Plus, with the help of certain blogs such as choose to be happy by Alexa,
I know that if I pray and trust that the best thing possible for us will happen,
it will!

Best Friend...

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life.

Michael is my world, my love, and my {best friend} and

he means absolutely everything to me.

Until he came into my life, I thought that I would end up with a man

who walks on me and that my job in life was to make a two person

relationship work all by myself.

Michael has taught me that a real relationship takes 100% commitment and

work from both people in the relationship and that there are some

incredible men out there who want to put in the hard work necessary

in order to make a relationship work.

It's funny because when I was younger and dreaming of the man I someday

would find who would sweep me off my feet, the man in my head

looks an awful lot like Mike.

Dark hair. Dark eyes. Hard working. In boots and Carhartts.

;-)

He complements me. My love of country living. My want for

a house and family {someday in the distant future :-)} 

He's serious and committed but at the same time, I have never

met anyone who can make me laugh so hard and when I

cry, there's no one else who's hug feels so warm.

When he leaves for work in the morning, I am assured

that I am the only woman on his mind. 

Just as he is the one man in this world who fills my head with happy thoughts all day long.

There are some important couples in my life who have taught me some valuable lessons about being in a relationship:

1. My mother and father: Steadfast rocks who were absolutely made for eachother

2. My Aunt Kim and Uncle Eric: Free spirits who have taught me that I can truly do anything

3. My cousin Aubrey Kinch and her husband Andrew Kinch: Although still newlyweds, they have already taught me one of the most important lessons I think I could learn, "always be the first to say "I'm Sorry.""

This is where I want to be in my life.

With my hand in his.

Finally, all feels so so so right.

Mike&I <3

A Babys Mentality

Today I am spending my time with little Addison Christina. She is almost 8 months old and is the sweetest thing I have ever been so blessed to watch. She plays so well all by herself and fills my day with little toothy smiles. When she fusses a little, shes ready to eat. Then she plays and when more little whimpers begin, its time to sleep! So simple to take care of and is definitely the worst form of birth control I've ever seen because all she does is make me want one just like her.

This morning, I was in the kitchen making myself an egg while Addie played in the living room. When I turned around, there she was, peeking her little head around the corner grinning away at me and I started to wonder what she thinks when she sees me. Things must be so simple in her mind. Never a worry or concern other than "I'm hungry" or "I'm tired." She spends her days playing and learning and enjoying every single interesting thing around her. (even things she shouldn't be enjoying yet like cords and wrappers!!) Absolutely everything that Addie sees is new. A big discovery that she is raring and ready to rip apart, and usually suck on, to find out all she can about it.

Beautiful Girlie...<3

Now granted, I realize that she is not thinking things through when she sees something the way I would. She doesn't wonder how it works or what it does. However, even without those specific curiosities, she still is captivated and mesmerized. Sometimes I think we could learn a lot from a baby. Perhaps we don't need to know every little thing in the world. I am a true believer that people are given way too much information these days. It's almost a sad thought to think that we live in the world we do and there are many people who live their lives bored! Every morning, Addie smiles when she wakes up. She laughs when you tickle her belly and she loves to rattle off little nothings to her brother and sister. This makes her happy. When she's upset, she cries. She doesn't pout and make me guess what is wrong with her. She wears her emotions on her sleeve and even though she's a baby, I think we could learn a thing or two from this little girlie.. <3

Live and Love Local

Sometimes it is just important to believe in something. I believe in and feel strongly about local farming, sustainability, and buying locally. Here's my theory:

If we all stopped spending outside the 

United States, we might actually

be able to begin investing money back into

the things that WE need.

Call me selfish but I truly believe that if we would all just start thinking about our small local areas, we might be able to start pulling our country out of the deficit we are in. Right now, buying local is expensive for people. I know that where I am from, a small town in NY, people just don't have the kind of money to pay farmers what they need to keep their farms alive. However, if even for just a short time everyone made an effort to buy whatever they can locally, I think that the result would be lowered local prices as well! If the farmers could just afford their farms and what they do, eventually the money we spend and what they sell would even out and end with the prices being more reasonable. 

If you really think this through, I think it makes sense. If I spend my money and time thinking about making my town or even county a better place and everyone else would do the same in their areas, I think it would cost us less to get our country back up to the super power it once was. And then, when we get back to a place where we actually can hold some power and help other countries without putting ourselves in the slums, it's then that we do that. Right now is not the time. We are no good to anyone else if we can't even help ourselves. 

Snow...

Have you ever noticed that everything gets quiet when it snows? Stand outside and listen. It's almost as if you can hear each flake hit the ground. You can stare up into the sky when it snows and feel the flakes gently touch your face. Because it's cold, each drop of moisture turns to ice and brings snow down to the ground. You can hear yourself think clearer when you listen to the snow. Out in the country, where you can't even hear the cars on the highway, you actually can learn what silence truly sounds like. It's calming. Peaceful. No crickets like in the summer. No doors slamming or people talking. People don't drive as much because of slick roadways so therefore, no car noise either. Just silence. Breathe.. Take it in. Feel the silence fill your body with warmth and peace of mind knowing that not everything in this world is ruled by noise. There are still ways to feel close to the land. If you'll only look.

The Simple Life: Defined

The Simple Life(n): A way of living that involves thinking about the smaller things in life. Taking a look at the world around you and thinking of how it all got there. Remembering the people who led us to where we are today and considering that perhaps, our way of life is not always correct. 


With everything going on in the world today, I have begun to think thoroughly about why it is happening. Why is there global warming? Why are their floods and tsunamis? Why does everything cost so much and no one can afford any of it? Is Corporate America really a good thing [Big Brother]. Why are their less jobs than there are people to fill them leaving millions out of work? All these questions have led me to the conclusion that when life was simpler, so was the world. 


Maybe it's ironic to write a blog about living simpler since I am using technology to get my point across but that's just not my point at all. I am not in any way, shape, or form suggesting that we go back to a time without electricity and I personally believe that computers have brought us a long way and are a good thing. I am simply a firm believer in self-sufficiency. Do not ask from others of things which you can get/do for yourself.